A switch was flicked it seems when this kid turned one! Here are a few of the lessons the dragon has taught me recently, all within a 48 hour time frame:
- The pantry is an interesting to place to find nappy covers;
- They’ve spent more time in the liquor cabinet than you have in the last two years;
- Don’t be surprised when that happy little chatter waking from a nap may in fact be delight over the removal of a nappy (pray it’s empty);
- Regularly check the oven temperature when baking, your little friend likes to use the dial;
- Make sure to check the dishwasher hasn’t been turned on while you were attending to the oven;
- Five point harnesses in either a pram or a highchair are merely a challenge and often left fastened but missing a toddler;
- If they’re a new walker you will notice a resemblance to a baby orangutan, especially if they wave their arms about as they pass;
- Prepare to have your wallet and handbags emptied multiple times a day;
- You will meet lots of new people, especially when they join another child to help them eat their lunch;
- They will read all paperwork diligently, then re-read it, then eat it;
- Must participate in all phone calls, especially if they sound important or formal;
- They will make friends with the waitress, always make friends with the waitress. Very helpful when things fly off the table;
- Everything is a walking aid – the high chair passing by should not come as a surprise, there is usually someone small driving it;
- The dog is never safe. Never;
- If you’re eating it. Yes please;
- Bath tubs are optional accessories, but everything must take a bath, just not the toddler;
- Shoes are optional accessories but apparently edible.
Just a taste. Of the insanity. That I love so much.
